i haven't written in a while...

it all seemmed like it was going to be alright and for a while it was, i've had so much fun, ditching and spending time with him, and going to the beach..but not too long ago his mom called, apparently he has to go back to arizona

did the sun just get brighter or is it just me?

i love him, i love him so much, he's leaving tomorrow at 7pm, do u kno how many hours that is from now?!?!?
well i don't even want to count because it'll just make me sadder, well at least i'm hanging out with him until 6 tomorrow....YAY!(?)
not too long ago, and yesterday i had a panic attack, like the kind that make u freeze up, and it sucks so much...i hate it when stuff finally hits you, and urgh...i don't want him to go i love him too much, i don't want him far away, but well it takes away from feeling guilty about leaving to downey...i don't want to move, i don't know anyone and i know myself..argh too many things that weren't supposed to happen are happening